I was thinking about this episode (I'm about half through!) and about Incredibles 2. The plot essentially is that Helen (Elastagirl) is handpicked for a super cool mission that she is SUPER EXCITED ABOUT, but someone has to watch the children (including a baby who won't stay asleep), so Mr. Incredible steps in! What's funny, though, is they start to play with the "look at this loser dad who can't do all the things the mom could do," but then TWIST when he buckles down and applies is Mr. Incredible skills to figuring out math! and his daughter's love life! and a morphing baby! Anyway, I thought it was a fun twist on the dad trope in that they show how a dad can go from sort of fumbling things because he didn't handle the day-to-day to actually developing the damn skills to get things done.
I was fascinated by this, partly because, as someone who doesn’t have a relationship with their dad, in my household, it was my mom who would hover silently behind the kids as they watched television, never sitting down. Maybe this was her embodying a kind of dad energy and I didn’t know it. It always read as a manifestation of her resistance to rest, a need to always be accomplishing a task in a never ending list of domestic and professional work. Her TV watching was always masked as a part of multitasking with other things. I also think it was a way to create a boundary between what the kids were watching and what she “should “be watching. Or maybe also a way to give us some kind of sense of privacy, which was totally useless as her hovering would always be an equal attention draw.
Alix - I lived almost all my teen years with just my mom (I experienced this dad energy much later in life with my dad), and I suspect you are right and it was our moms' resistance to rest. But I also like to think that she wanted to be near to you.
I feel "some guilt" which is weird about not sitting down to watch the kids' shows, but honestly the alternative is I've got my airpods in and am listening to something awesome like the pod! They will be talking to me again so soon.
Oh, absolutely - at the time my defensive teen brain couldn't compute the love and desire for proximity that was there in the hovering, but I do see it now!
Ok ok upgraded to paid exclusively to share a Bluey hot take: while I TOTALLY get why parents planning a big move would be frustrated by Bandit's 180 at the end of the finale, I think it actually sends a really positive cultural message: that it isn't necessarily the better option to uproot your whole family and leave your community and support system for a higher paying job. Obviously there's lots of nuance, and not everyone embarking on a big move truly has a choice, etc. but given the facts as we know them, I thought it was a really beautiful validation of the Heelers' investment in community and kinship ties
"unsettling texting etiquette." I barked out the loudest damn laugh at that. 😂 So true! We had to tell my dad that all caps was equivalent to yelling. But my fave was recently when my dad TEXTED my sister to ask her what her PHONE NUMBER was!!! 😂
Since my father was sick and in and out of my life when I was a kid (and died on my 20th birthday), and since his tastes were kind of weird, I have a weird take on Dad Culture from my personal experience. My dad listened to rock poets like Bruce Springsteen (peak dad) and Lou Reed (arguable) as well as British folk like Fairport Convention, and he loved writers like Paul Auster and Tom Wolfe and actors like Harry Dean Stanton. I recognize something like The Hunt for Red October as a dad movie, but in my personal experience, Repo Man is a dad movie.
My father-in-law has more standard Dad tastes; my sweetheart was listening to Johnny Cash in the front seat of his dad’s pickup truck when he was eight, and my FIL has five books in his house: Cash, an Autobiography; True Grit; The Complete Mark Twain; a biography of Teddy Roosevelt; and a Rand McNally road atlas.
I couldn’t stop laughing about shorts dad. My dad was literally wearing shorts, hiking boots and a giant sweater the first time my parents met on a very cold November day and he loves his old beat up shorts. He didn’t wear shorts all the time but did decide for a while to embrace the brightly coloured Bermuda shorts with shirt, tie and jacket as part of his formal corporate look. It’s was amazing.
No joke, my dad texted during a heavy rain storm to ask how my basement was doing. It was almost midnight but I went down to take a look. And it was flooding!! Dad knew even from hundreds of kms away, and saved my basement!
I’m just now getting around to listening to this episode. (Loved it.) I’m latching onto Goofy as a single dad, but more specifically The Goofy Movie as a “black Millennial classic.” Is there a link between this iteration of Goofy and his origin as a “minstrel” character, or is this just my tired academic brain making connections where there aren’t any?
Hey friends! I’ve been planning to have a child with my wife but been reflecting on the idea that my child will have two moms and not a “dad”. (Afraid of discrimination in the conservative place where I live). Should I give this one a listen or would it be better to skip this one out? I mean, will it make me feel some kind of “weird” about all this? (I know this is a very personal question but I also trust the community here, so thought I might ask…). Thank you!
I welcome others who aren't me to chime in here, but I'll just let you know that we address several questions from queer people about dad energy and how it can be embraced and cultivated by every gender (and by people who aren't parents, too).
I was thinking about this episode (I'm about half through!) and about Incredibles 2. The plot essentially is that Helen (Elastagirl) is handpicked for a super cool mission that she is SUPER EXCITED ABOUT, but someone has to watch the children (including a baby who won't stay asleep), so Mr. Incredible steps in! What's funny, though, is they start to play with the "look at this loser dad who can't do all the things the mom could do," but then TWIST when he buckles down and applies is Mr. Incredible skills to figuring out math! and his daughter's love life! and a morphing baby! Anyway, I thought it was a fun twist on the dad trope in that they show how a dad can go from sort of fumbling things because he didn't handle the day-to-day to actually developing the damn skills to get things done.
Solid ending with the dad watching but NOT watching the TV. My husband sure knows a lot about Great British Baking Show and every episode of Bluey.
The way I HOWLED that Phil is the David Bianculli of the Culture Study Pod. Wow. What a closer.
WE HAVE TO MAKE PHIL'S BIANCULLI DREAMS COME TRUE!
I was fascinated by this, partly because, as someone who doesn’t have a relationship with their dad, in my household, it was my mom who would hover silently behind the kids as they watched television, never sitting down. Maybe this was her embodying a kind of dad energy and I didn’t know it. It always read as a manifestation of her resistance to rest, a need to always be accomplishing a task in a never ending list of domestic and professional work. Her TV watching was always masked as a part of multitasking with other things. I also think it was a way to create a boundary between what the kids were watching and what she “should “be watching. Or maybe also a way to give us some kind of sense of privacy, which was totally useless as her hovering would always be an equal attention draw.
Alix - I lived almost all my teen years with just my mom (I experienced this dad energy much later in life with my dad), and I suspect you are right and it was our moms' resistance to rest. But I also like to think that she wanted to be near to you.
I feel "some guilt" which is weird about not sitting down to watch the kids' shows, but honestly the alternative is I've got my airpods in and am listening to something awesome like the pod! They will be talking to me again so soon.
Oh, absolutely - at the time my defensive teen brain couldn't compute the love and desire for proximity that was there in the hovering, but I do see it now!
Ok ok upgraded to paid exclusively to share a Bluey hot take: while I TOTALLY get why parents planning a big move would be frustrated by Bandit's 180 at the end of the finale, I think it actually sends a really positive cultural message: that it isn't necessarily the better option to uproot your whole family and leave your community and support system for a higher paying job. Obviously there's lots of nuance, and not everyone embarking on a big move truly has a choice, etc. but given the facts as we know them, I thought it was a really beautiful validation of the Heelers' investment in community and kinship ties
As someone who had to move a lot as a kid, I WISH my parents had done a Bandit 180!!
Peak Dad for me is when my father and my husband love and support their stepchildren just as much as their biological children.
"unsettling texting etiquette." I barked out the loudest damn laugh at that. 😂 So true! We had to tell my dad that all caps was equivalent to yelling. But my fave was recently when my dad TEXTED my sister to ask her what her PHONE NUMBER was!!! 😂
Since my father was sick and in and out of my life when I was a kid (and died on my 20th birthday), and since his tastes were kind of weird, I have a weird take on Dad Culture from my personal experience. My dad listened to rock poets like Bruce Springsteen (peak dad) and Lou Reed (arguable) as well as British folk like Fairport Convention, and he loved writers like Paul Auster and Tom Wolfe and actors like Harry Dean Stanton. I recognize something like The Hunt for Red October as a dad movie, but in my personal experience, Repo Man is a dad movie.
My father-in-law has more standard Dad tastes; my sweetheart was listening to Johnny Cash in the front seat of his dad’s pickup truck when he was eight, and my FIL has five books in his house: Cash, an Autobiography; True Grit; The Complete Mark Twain; a biography of Teddy Roosevelt; and a Rand McNally road atlas.
I couldn’t stop laughing about shorts dad. My dad was literally wearing shorts, hiking boots and a giant sweater the first time my parents met on a very cold November day and he loves his old beat up shorts. He didn’t wear shorts all the time but did decide for a while to embrace the brightly coloured Bermuda shorts with shirt, tie and jacket as part of his formal corporate look. It’s was amazing.
No joke, my dad texted during a heavy rain storm to ask how my basement was doing. It was almost midnight but I went down to take a look. And it was flooding!! Dad knew even from hundreds of kms away, and saved my basement!
Oh yes, and the text etiquette. If he doesn't hear back from me immediately I will get a "hello."
The "dad" advice and the "dad" jokes.
I’m just now getting around to listening to this episode. (Loved it.) I’m latching onto Goofy as a single dad, but more specifically The Goofy Movie as a “black Millennial classic.” Is there a link between this iteration of Goofy and his origin as a “minstrel” character, or is this just my tired academic brain making connections where there aren’t any?
Hey friends! I’ve been planning to have a child with my wife but been reflecting on the idea that my child will have two moms and not a “dad”. (Afraid of discrimination in the conservative place where I live). Should I give this one a listen or would it be better to skip this one out? I mean, will it make me feel some kind of “weird” about all this? (I know this is a very personal question but I also trust the community here, so thought I might ask…). Thank you!
I welcome others who aren't me to chime in here, but I'll just let you know that we address several questions from queer people about dad energy and how it can be embraced and cultivated by every gender (and by people who aren't parents, too).
Great to know! Then, it might be just what I needed to listen to right now! I’ll give it a go. Thank you, Anne!